"The Game"

Since nothing really exciting has been going on in my life lately I will delve into the old memory bank and talk to you about my first introduction to "the game" and inform you on how it is ruining my life, and maybe yours if you continue to read on.... (consider yourself warned)

Again, I must take you back to Myrtle Beach, no not the time when I was coerced into doing a naked swan dive into 3 inches of water which resulted in my snaggle-tooth, this Myrtle that I am talking about is exactly one year after the aforementioned Myrtle.  As I already have talked about in my previous blog, all of the F&M campus migrates down to Myrtle Beach at the end of the year for some quality boozing, beaching, and bad decision-making, and it was here in Myrtle, this past May, where a freshman on my soccer team, Krem-de-la-Krem, told me about "the game" and subsequently ruined my life.  (warning #2)

So, my roommates and I are all sitting around our hotel room listening to music and doing a little bit of drinking before we go down to the beach and this is where Kremer decides that he has to tell us all about "the game".  We are all excited.  "Yeah we want to hear about the game, Do you want to hear about the game? Yeah I totally do too.  I'm totally going to win, I'm really good at games, lets here it, I'm excited, what is it? How do I win?"  But NO! This is not that kind of game.  There are really no winners in this game.  There are only two real places to be in this game: losing, or waiting to lose.  I know you are probably a little confused at this point but be patient, everything will be explained in time.  Actually, all will be explained right now.

Okay so here is how "the game" works.  First, everyone is playing.  Once you learn about the game you are in.  And by "in" I mean that you never stop playing "the game" EVER...  So basically at this point you are in whether you like it or not.  Alright, so the object of "the game" is not to think of "the game".  If you do happen to think of "the game" then you lose.  But, this is a gentleman's and gentlewoman's game so if you do think of "the game" then you have to tell the people you around that you thought of "the game" and concede your defeat.  But, that is not the end of it.  Once the sorry soul does confess to thinking about "the game" then it starts all over again.  As this is a gentleman's and gentlewoman's game it is polite and proper to give a 10-15 minute rest period where people can gradually stop thinking of "the game" before it really starts again because obviously once the first person thinks about "the game" and tells those around them then obviously everyone is forced to be thinking about it.  The 10-15 minute lay period helps with getting "the game" out of peoples mind before the game officially begins again.  And that's all there is to it.  Don't think of "the game".  Easy enough right?  I thought so too, at first that is.

At first, I was like okay this isn't so hard.  This is easy.  I'm not going to think of the game.  We start drinking some more, blah blah blah, someone that wasn't in "the game" convo walks into the room and asks what game is on the television.  A perfectly ordinary question but what do we all think about?  Yes, "the game".  This was the start of "the game" ruining my life.  For the rest of the time at Myrtle we were all constantly thinking about the game, especially with the amount of sports and games we were playing out on the beach, and all of the drinking games that occurred on the trip, every time the word game was uttered I immediately thought of "the game".  In my mind I just kept thinking that "the game" would slowly start fading and I would soon be game free, but boy was I wrong, and I really can only blame myself.

I amused me greatly to tell new people about "the game" at really terrible times to hear about "the game" for the first time.  So, a week after returning home from Myrtle I was invited down to my friend Ryan's house for her graduation party, along with my other friends John, TJ, Bush, and Diane and we all decided to ride together.  Oh, Ryan lives in Lancaster, PA and we all live in Sauquoit, NY which makes it a five hour car ride...  So we start driving and about 45 minutes into the drive someone asks if we should play the "alphabet game," a much more sane game then "the game" and everyone agrees.  The only problem is that when I hear the word game I thought of "the game" and because no one in the car had heard about "the game" before I thought it was the perfect time to tell them all.  So I describe the game to them, but then I did something that Kremer had not done, which made the game 10x worse for all of us.  Once I described it, I then went on to tell them that they were going to think of the game in the most random of places and will soon start to really hate "the game" as it will take over their lives.  But I took it one step farther.  I started naming places that they were going to think of "the game" because I thought it would be funny to name really random things that people do so that when they did them they would think of "the game".  So, I was like, yeah you are going to be CODing (Call of Dutying) it up and think of "the game".  Or you will be brushing your teeth every morning and when you look up into the mirror after spitting out the tooth paste you are going to think of it.  Or, every time you cut your toe nails.  I was giving all of these examples partly to be an asshole, but I was also trying to show them how random it is when the game pops into your brain, which really sucks.  Then I said just imagine you will all be laying on your deathbed many centuries from now and just before you take your last breath you are going to think of "the game".  I might have gone too far with that one because we all sat there for a moment then I thought about how awful that actually would be.  I'm 207 with all of my 13 son's standing around my bed, my 33 grandchildren, and my 2 young baby great grandchildren all sitting around my bed and instead of thinking about how large and amazing my family is I am going to be thinking, "FUCK YOU KREMER!".  I just lost "the game" and that is why "the game" is slowly but surely ruining my life.

The rest of the trip, the entire car was pretty angry with me because they all kept thinking of "the game".  And by the end of the trip I'm pretty sure they all were no longer my friend, especially Bush, because "the game" really hit a soft spot with him.  He was the driver, and for the record also the most level-headed person of the whole bunch, but for whatever reason he could not get "the game" out of his head. ("the game" accepts all colors, creeds, intelligence levels, etc. which is part of its charm, you never know who it will really get)  By the end of the trip, in the car ride home, we would all be sitting in silence listening to music or whatever else people do in 5-hour car rides and Bush would just let out a large sigh and look really sad.  We started picking up on these sighs and when we asked him what was wrong he just said, "the game".  He couldn't get the game out of his head.  He said that he was thinking about "the game" for the entire car ride home.... continuously.  I felt a little bad, but mostly I just laughed...

Now, it has been many months since my first introduction and I am still amazed at the complete randomness of the times I think of it.  tying my shoes in the morning, listening to Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA", eating upside down pepperoni pizza from Grande's, eating a push-pop, getting my tooth fixed at the dentist, washing my grundle in the shower, you name it I've probably thought of "the game" doing it.

In conclusion, that is "the game" and do with it what you will.  For some people it doesn't really affect them and they really don't get it or care to partake, but for others it really does sink in.  I hope I don't ruin anyone else's lives by introducing them to this game but I had nothing else to talk about so this is what you got(and secretly I really do hope it does so I am not the only one living in misery).  Also, as a side note, for best results in getting other people with "the game" I suggest doing it situations that require lots of time in confined places with not much to do (i.e. long car rides), or with people under the influence (I'll leave this one ambiguous).

THE GAME

YOU LOSE

PS if anyone has any completely random places that they have thought of or think of the game it would be funny to hear them so post a comment if you have any good ones.

TJ added: any songs by the doors, death, Diane talking, whenever someone says, "Guess what?"